i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
