apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
