sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
