I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
