i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
