Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
