Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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