is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
