he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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