come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize