my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
