Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
