Umm I'm too high to move.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i think my cat just said my name.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
