my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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