Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
