I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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