So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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