Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
