So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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