This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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