Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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