You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
