Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize