Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
