i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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