What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So much rum. So many feels.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
