college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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