I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
