is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
