I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I want a musical about memes.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize