how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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