Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
