Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
try to milk me bitch
Randomize