I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
do herpes really smell.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Enjoy the penises
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
