ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
