i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
