So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
