i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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