Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
