none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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