how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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