Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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