He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
