he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
