doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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