they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
