i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
