i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
