Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
