she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
