should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
