I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
