Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
