3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize