Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
