my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize