How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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