I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
