I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
