she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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