even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
