If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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