i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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