my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
