I molested 6 butterflies tonight
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
