It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
