I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
