My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
