if i can run in heels then i can drive
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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